Alone in his patrol ship in a part of hte galaxy he shouldn't be and surrounded by alien warships, the inept but very enthusiastic Cadet Bogg thinks long and hard before making a decision. It is a decision with repercussions that spread far beyond his limited imagination and it may ultimately decide the fate of the Earth. Oblivious to this (not that he would care anyway) is a Dwarf woodcutter who hates people at the best of times but now finds himself reluctantly trying to save a Princess from a nasty two-headed, split-personality Ogre. He would rather stay at home but the lure of gold is just too irresistable. He is followed by a mysterious stranger in black who seems to have a grudge against him and a dislike for bananas. Meanwhile, a Dwarf Detective with acute paranoia has just become involved in a rebel plan to return a beautiful heir to her throne after a military dictator has deposed her. He is confused by the presence of Mexican guitarists in his lift. The three Boggs are completely unaware of each other's existence but become inextricably linked in a struggle to prevent the imminent alien invasion of Earth... and not one of them has even the faintest idea of what's going on.