What is an escape route? An escape route is essential if you want to stay scot-free and not end up in prison or worse. This is a story about myself and the many tight spots I have got myself into and how I managed to escape scot-free. Indeed I am a Scot and know the origin and meaning of the expression. So I have always known to make sure that I had an escape route to prevent me from ending up in the quicksand. In the course of this book, I intend to give you my outlook on life, how I've spent it and my opinions on many subjects. The vast majority of this book is true and the few exaggerations I have included for a laugh, you will be able to spot, but there are very few. I will not be caring if I offend anyone nor will I be politically correct in any way. If you are easily offended, don't read it. I was born in the sixties, so my sense of humour came into being in the seventies when things weren't quite so politically correct as they are now. Those were the days when Warren Mitchell's character Alf Garnett was the biggest comedy star on the television, so the sense of humour in this book will not be to everyone's taste. But if you enjoy a good laugh . . . read on.