This is the author's life story, told in an uncommonly graphic style. Severely abused as a child and continuing to be victimized as an adult, Susan lived a confused double existence, as a respected attorney and administrative law judge at Two World Trade Center in Manhattan and, after hours, as a partner with her ex-husband in a drugged out, violent lifestyle. Her actions were a desperate attempt to block out memories that were too painful to remember, let alone cope with in any effective way. However, Susan refused to give up and reached for what she never had and what we all need-love. At the mature age of fifty-two, Susan made Jesus her Savior and Lord and was thus born again. As her relationship with the Lord matured and became more intimate, a series of miracles began taking place, inside and on the outside of the author. For example, her inside scars of abuse and powerful drug addiction were lifted from her. In addition, the Lord straightened Susan's curved spine from forty-five degrees to approximately twenty degrees! It is the author's desire to encourage all persons that it is possible to overcome even the worst of situations when one steps into the light (and the love) of our mighty God.