This is the story of a boy, a girl, a phone, a cat, the end of the universe, and the terrible power of ennui.

Jacob is sure he used to be more upset about waking up covered in his own vomit. He's not sure what changed, but he is sure getting high should be doing more good than it seems to be. At least it still irons out some of the arguments between parts of his head.

Rose just wants Jacob to get out of her apartment, but is distracted by her restaurant burning down and the fact that she suddenly can't stop talking.

In fact, many things have started talking a lot, and most of them shouldn't be talking at all. Between the increasingly strange conversations and a number of curiously punitive coincidences, nobody notices that some of the more important bits of reality are unravelling until it's way too late.

"Dude, I loved it, but I think people like you are only appreciated after they're dead."

- Guy at a Bar

"I don't get what's up with the letters."

- Author's Editor

"I'm about 20 percent in, am I supposed to understand what's going on yet?"

- Author's Coworker

"A raucous, mind-bending, laugh-out-loud adventure from a rising literary star."

- Definitely a Legitimate Review from a Super Famous Magazine