The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! In this volume you'll find: * Overworked fairies distributing swords. * Alien yeti slackers * Elf bakers * Absconded books * Superhero dance battles * Matchmakers ... in spaaace! This anthology contains the following stories: "The Hero of Small Things" by Amanda Saville "Chai Noon" by Esther Friesner "If Pages Could Blush" by Kyle A. Massa "The Time Loop Device is Counting Down" by Beth Goder "Crouching Swan Hidden Polka" by Jim C Hines "Sgt. Yeti" by Gini Koch "The Great Beyond Commands" by John Wiswell "The Second Wish" by James Beamon "These Three Aliens Walk into a Bar" by Simon R. Green "Our Most Sincere Apologies to the People of Brazil" by Jane Espenson "Liability Insurance Policy for Immortals, Cryptids, and Other Magical Beings: Annual Newsletter" by Tina Connolly "The Shadchen of Venus" by Lavie Tidhar "Cory Sucks" by Auston Habershaw "Sunnyside Daycare Employees' Chat Log, Post Alien Takeover" by Amanda Helms "Cooking Up Trouble" by C. Flynt "Right to Remain Silent" by Jody Lynn Nye "Auntie Elsie's Compleat Guide to Heartbreak" by Tim Pratt "The Troll Bridge" by Adam Gaylord "Do Gumshoes Dream of Electric Sleep" by Dave Vierling "Hell's Bureaucracy" by David Hankins "A Crisis of Fate" by Zach Shephard